anti-aa

People that know me well know very well that I don't like to fly American Airlines. I think the last time I was on an AA plane was when I flew to Paris with my sister close to 10 years ago. The trip back and forth on that AA made the worst impression of any airlines I had flown, i.e. a drunk stalker passenger that didn't stop talking to me progressively got worse because this stupid flight attendant kept giving him more alcohol, and on the way back, I had to experience a horrific flight thanks to a psychotic, bipolar drugged-up flight attendant that was kicking around passengers' bags and refused to get me and my sister any type of beverage, not even water!!! She was getting mad like a crazy cow at passengers for no apparent reason and had this Nazi attitude about everything. Feeling extremely uneasy and disturbed by the digusting experience, I wrote a formal complaint email to AA. Eventually, some dude called and offered a free ticket, and I flat out refused. That's how much I was disgusted by them and I still am. Some of you know me very well- once I am turned off, there is no coming back at all... it is extremely difficult for me to recover. As I started to travel more often, I became a faithful UA user since then... I'm very stubborn to not fly AA even till this day. My travel buddy flies no one but AA, so we always end up booking different flights, and it will stay that way as long as I live.

Well, just a few days ago, I received a letter with my mileage summary from AA and an invitation to redeem miles for magazine subscriptions. This is the first time they sent me such letter. Why not, I thought... Most likely, I will not be flying AA in the future anyhow unless AA is the only airline existent on this planet, and I know the miles will expire this year, so I did what I usually don't do- order subscriptions. Fortunately (?), I didn't have enough miles to get a reward trip, and used up all but 24 miles to get nine different magazines- no, they are not all fashion magazines. Some business, golf, FOOD, and home interioir mags... Although I've left the measly 24 miles- unused, this is more or less a final closure that will forever close the door to AA.

2nd eye damage in my life

Okay, so more things are happening, but not all of them are good. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but it finally happened yesterday. -_- It's no joke when I say I've been suffering from dryness of both my right and left eyes. I use artifical tears and it does help to watch sad movies so I squeeze some liquid from my idle tear glands and get a chance to wet my eyes.

This all came about when I started wearing contact lenses since high school. My eyes were so dry that when my eye doc wanted me to try gas-permeable lenses because she claimed that my vision will improve, I almost commited suicide! I was getting nauseated from my lenses moving around everytime I blinked- yes, everytime eyeballs moved, I could see the edges of the lenses as white blurry rims..... I had to suffer like that for months. Anyway, my incompetent eye doc still did not make any diagnosis and I suffered.... Finally she let me try soft lenses after I begged and begged, and just like night guards, once you go soft, you never go back to the hard ones! To make long short, due to the severe dryness, I ended up with a severe eye infection in 2005. I was forever banned from wearing contacts (and lasik surgery is contraindicated in my case), but I cheated after behaving for months. Then recently, I felt it- felt that severe dryness. I changed my disposable contacts yesterday before I went out to the beach, but it hit me really hard all of a sudden. Couldn't do much until I made it home. That needle-poking pain... WTF- when I looked in the mirror, it was so much worse than the first infection. I could see the damage on my right cornea... the same eye I had trouble with. Since my life is at stake and I have yet to get a disability insurance, I will be seeing my ophthalmologist (not the old optometrist- don't even know what the hell happened to her) first thing in the morning tomorrow. Well, I had to see patients all day with my glasses on and I really did not feel normal at all.

I don't know about you people, but when I can't see too well (because when you wear glasses, you don't get an accurate peripheral vision as you do when wearing contact lenses), I also can't hear too well. If you haven't experienced that, well.... I guess I'm just a weirdo...
photo by YJK

my handwriting to blame...

Ok, so I have not been blogging as faithfully as I promised myself previously. That is because I don't have much going on in my life right now. Things are pretty dormant. I have not been taking gazillion trips like I did the last few years, work is work, weekends are spent doing pretty much the same things I usually do every weeekend. Anyway, I thought I mention something that's never happened to me before.

As usual, I was checking all the charges that were made to my credit cardS and found two of them to be incorrect! WTF! So I looked up the original receipts- It's a good thing I keep all my receipts- yes people, I keep all of them, and on a daily basis, I record all my expenses so that I won't have to go insane and call 911 in January when I have to do my tax return. I am extremely organized and anal about categorizing all my expenses so I can maximize my tax deductions- yes people, you'd be surprised how much you could save if you were diligent about keeping things organized. Anyway, what I wanted to say was those incorrect charges were made at restaurants, and I'm assuming the tip amount and the total amount were probably not legible. In total, I lost less than a dollar, but still, it sucks that I have to pay for my artistic handwriting.
Ha, you would know if you ever saw my signature. But anyhow, I did learn a valuable lesson this time. I will know to write legibly on those stupid restaurant receipts.

photo by J.Lee

weekend drama

오늘도 나의 땡끄를 끌고 다운타운으로 나가주었다. 나가는 길에 또다시 스피드할수 있어서 기분전환에 perfecto. 아침에는 더울거 같았지만 막상 비취에 나가니 바람불고 햇님은 구름사이로 숨어버리고 나올 생각을 하지않았다. 여름이면 항상 태우는 나는 작년에 너무 여행하는라 $$$을 많이 써서 이번 년도에는 좀 참기로 했기때메 미시간 호수의 우습지도않은 꾸정물 파도로 어는정도 맘을 달래기로 결심. 가증스러운 꾸정물을 바라보며 magic wand같은거로 저 브라운 물을 아루바의 아콰물로 바꿀수만있다면.... 이상한 생각까지했다. 근데 오늘날씨는 별로 안바쳐주었기에 다음 주말이 벌써 기다려진다. 엄마랑 아빠왈, "너는 안태워도 까만애가 왠만하면 참지..." 그래도 지금 내 모습은 내가 볼땐 너무 히끼무래하다... 힘없는 두부같이...

오늘은 우리 애기 생일이기때메 집에 일찍(?)들어와서 조그마한 생일파티를 해줬다. 짜쉭 너무 귀엽게는 생겨갸지고. 정말로 눈에 넣어도 안아픈 내 애기다. 어제는 내 옆에서 천장이 날라가게 코를 골며 자는데 진짜로 과관이였음. 나중에는 잠꼬대까지 해가며 자는데 깨우니까 화들짝 놀라기까지하는 귀여운 짜식.

방금 친구가 전화해서 이번에 결혼하는 친구 bridal shower를 우리둘이 플랜하겠다고 얘기했다는데 솔찍히 이제까지 브라이드메이드한다고 드레스값에 (전혀 내스타일도 아니고, 한번 입고 말것을....), 7월에 있을 크레이지 bachelorette party에 들어가는 비용 (호텔에 방몇게 잡았음), 그런데다가 결혼식이 금요일이라 그날은 일 재끼고 목요일은 rehearsal dinner라서 그날 환자 많이 못보지, etc. 생각하면 기분이 영 아님. 내가 결혼하는것도 아닌데, 정말 돈 많.이.든다. 친한 친구라서 해줄수있지 아무게 브라이드메이드했음 돌아가셨을뻔. 이제 얼마안있음 condo closing도 해야하는데 돈쓰는거 진짜 재미없음. 이럴 돈있음 여행을 가는건데, 너무 너무 슬퍼진다.... 흑 흑...

오늘 또 요가도 못하고 쓰잘때기없이 시간만보냈다... 젠장...

photo by J.Lee

speed, baby

On the way to the city yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to see almost no traffic. Thanks to this rare chance to speed a little more than usual- it was a good way to relieve some of my distress. My beautiful, sturdy tank (v-8, hp of almost 500) knows to speed well and performs to my expectations. I wish Chicago kept the kind of weather we had yesterday- it was perfectly breezy with the perfect amount of sunshine- of course, no humidity. Walking along Lake Michigan made me realize how pretty this city is although I ended up getting blisters on my feet from walking in heels.... so stupid.... My plans to run today got ruined, but whatever happens, happens. Oh no, I still have to make up the missed yoga sessions from the last two days. Craptacular!

photo by J.Lee

또 다시

어젯 밤에 요가를 끝마치고 매트위에서 잠이 들어버렸다... 젠장... 한 시간하고 쓰려졌으니.... 오늘은 주말이 시작이라 그런지 내일 두시간할거 생각하고 제끼기로 했다. 오늘은 하루종일 환자를 정신없이 봤더니 좀 피곤하긴 하네. 내일은 날씨도 좋다는데 환자가 빽빽하게 스케줄이 됐네... 젠장... 일안하는 토요일에는 날씨가 드럽고 일해야하는 날은 날씨가 화창하다. 내일 비치에라도 나가줘야 할텐데.... 삐삐는 이빨닦여줬더니 내 옆에서 지금 쓰러져 자네... 두눈을 아주 꼬옥 감고말야.... 귀여운 짜식. 이렇게도 귀여울수가 없다 우리 애기는. 이틀만 있음 우리 애기 생일이다. 더 이상 늙지않고 나랑 한 평생 같이 살았으면 하는 바램이 너무 간절하다.

sleepy sleepy head

ok, so i was proud of practicing yoga for two full hours last night, but as i untwisted and layed my tired body on the mat and immersed myself into the last pose- shavasana- i fell asleep... fell asleep on my yoga mat in the living room and woke up feeling pretty chilly. i must've been laying down like that for an hour and a half. if someone had put a blanket over me, i might've easily spent the night on the mat, who knows.... this would have never happened years ago... have i aged that much? it took me a while to wake up to the reality and had to laugh at myself. after all, you can never be too serious. ok, i am about to do another hour of yoga now. cheers to me!

photo by J.Lee

family plan?

So I learned something new about myself yesterday and was quite pleasantly surprised by it. I ended up seeing a family of six boys from ages 12 to 11 months. Both parents showed up with the kids, and I must say, it was a pretty efficient family as both the mom and dad were authoritative figures. As I was seeing these patients, I couldn't help but feel envious. I know, I know... I work on a lot of kiddies- kids, in general, are squirmy creatures, but some of them- I really would like to adopt because they are truly cute and well-behaved, but never have I wanted to have that many kids. It was the strangest feeling. I really am starting to feel like I want to have a family of my own. 정말로 이상한 기분이였다. 그런데다 그 후로 어제 오후에 온 여자아이 환자는 너무나도 심한 치과 공포증이 있었는데, 내가 항상 하는식으로 엄청 애한테 애교떨고 마구 달래주고 했더니 치료후에 생각지도 않았던 귀여운 허그로 나를 깜짝! 내가 오히려 아이들로인해 감동받으며 산다. 그래서 느낀건데, 내 자식낳고 살면 얼마나 더 보람이 있을까? 생각만해도 짜릿하고 감동적이다... 하지만 내 스태터스가 영 바쳐주질 않으니 참 비극일수 밖에... 에궁... 어디 클리닠에가서 씨를 찾아야하나 아님 아이 아빠가 나타날때까지 기다려야 하나? 나이가 나이인만큼 오래 기다리지않게 빨리 나타나기를.... 기다리는 동안 아무것도 가진게 없는 나는 돈이라도 많이 벌어놔야 할텐데.... 이것도 저것도 없는 나는 어제도 오늘도 방황한다. 제일로 걱정이 되는건 이 나이에도 절실한 사랑을 만날수가 있을까. 아니라면 아무랑 애낳고 살아도 상관이 없겠다. 설마 하나님은 나보고 평생 혼자 살라고 그러는건 아니겠지... 괜시리 평생 혼자 살 생각하니까 무섭다. 제발 아니길 바란다. 나이가 드니까 덤덤하고 무뎌지는 면도 없지않아 있지만 사랑만큼에는 무뎌지고 싶지않은게 내 진심이고 바램이다. 아직 그런 마음은 간직하며 살고 싶다. 그리고 이런 희망을 갖고 사는 내가 좋을뿐이다. ㅎㅎ

photo by J.Lee

my precious baby

Everytime I am away from home, my baby never forgets to wait for me. Believe me, she knows when I go on trips that I won't be back for a while and is happy to talk on the phone with me when I'm away. She misses me terribly and I miss her terribly. She gets extremely sad and nervous when I start packing, but she is a completely different person (?) when I come back home- simply ecstatic! I love coming home to my love- my baby.... What would I do without you my baby.... She's gotten very much accustomed to receiving gifts from me whenever I come home from trips that she is always eager to have me open my suitcase so that she can find her present in there. I can never relax upon arriving, because she will always want me to unpack right away. She gives me no break! Yesterday was no exception- she strip-searched my purse and my suitcase and found all of her gifts. She was simply over-joyed and didn't even want to eat any snacks I had offered her. Silly baby.... that's my baby....

She's barely 19 lbs, but she takes up half the size of my bed, sleeps on all four pillows of mine and wants to be under the covers, tosses and turns during the night, kicks me forcefully when she sleeps, snores when she's tired and wakes me up when she sleep-talks, hops into the basket of freshly done laundry because it's warm, licks my lips when she wants to wake me up to have me open up the blinds to get sunshine in the morning, gets pissed off when I can't make time to play games with her- the games that she herself created, but baby, you know I love you very much, because these are the reasons that I love you, baby, and much more! A thousand kisses everyday is not enough although you get annoyed when I give you kisses, but I love you again and again, forever and ever and ever.... I love you, baby...

phoyo by J.Lee

아쉬움

그렇게 가고 싶었던 뉴욕을 드디어 갔다왔다!!! 너무나도 반가운 사람들을 많나게 됐고 도시의 냄새도 실컷 맡고 오랜만에 즐거운 여행을 하게돼서 뿌듯한 마음으로 돌아왔다. 지금은 여행 후유증으로 시달리고 있지만.... 항상 여행후에는 또 다른 여행이 필요한 법! 짧은 여행이였기에 더욱더 아쉬움이 많지만 어쩔수 없는걸.... 택시를 타고 공항으로 다시 돌아가는 내 발길이 너무나도 무거웠던걸 보면 역시 나는 시카고에서 오래 있지않을거 같다. 나도 내가 제발 가만히 한곳에 있길 바라지만 무슨 계시인지 아무래도 딴곳에서 나를 부르는거 같다. 그곳이 어딘지는 아직은 모르지만 내꿈이 그곳에 있는것만은 분명하다. 하루빨리 내 꿈을 찾자!

photo by J.Lee