2nd eye damage in my life

Okay, so more things are happening, but not all of them are good. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but it finally happened yesterday. -_- It's no joke when I say I've been suffering from dryness of both my right and left eyes. I use artifical tears and it does help to watch sad movies so I squeeze some liquid from my idle tear glands and get a chance to wet my eyes.

This all came about when I started wearing contact lenses since high school. My eyes were so dry that when my eye doc wanted me to try gas-permeable lenses because she claimed that my vision will improve, I almost commited suicide! I was getting nauseated from my lenses moving around everytime I blinked- yes, everytime eyeballs moved, I could see the edges of the lenses as white blurry rims..... I had to suffer like that for months. Anyway, my incompetent eye doc still did not make any diagnosis and I suffered.... Finally she let me try soft lenses after I begged and begged, and just like night guards, once you go soft, you never go back to the hard ones! To make long short, due to the severe dryness, I ended up with a severe eye infection in 2005. I was forever banned from wearing contacts (and lasik surgery is contraindicated in my case), but I cheated after behaving for months. Then recently, I felt it- felt that severe dryness. I changed my disposable contacts yesterday before I went out to the beach, but it hit me really hard all of a sudden. Couldn't do much until I made it home. That needle-poking pain... WTF- when I looked in the mirror, it was so much worse than the first infection. I could see the damage on my right cornea... the same eye I had trouble with. Since my life is at stake and I have yet to get a disability insurance, I will be seeing my ophthalmologist (not the old optometrist- don't even know what the hell happened to her) first thing in the morning tomorrow. Well, I had to see patients all day with my glasses on and I really did not feel normal at all.

I don't know about you people, but when I can't see too well (because when you wear glasses, you don't get an accurate peripheral vision as you do when wearing contact lenses), I also can't hear too well. If you haven't experienced that, well.... I guess I'm just a weirdo...
photo by YJK